I want to return to this particular photograph that I took because of this passage that I recently ran into in Gilles Deleuze's Cinema 2: “It was inevitable that the cinema, in the crises of the action-image, went through melancholic Hegelian reflections on its own death: having no more stories to tell, it would take itself as object and would be able to tell only its own story (Wenders)” (76). Do we make something different of the photography?
Indeed, Wenders' instructs: "What then is the recoil of the photographer?/How do you feel its impact?/How does it affect the subject,/and which trace of it appears on the photograph?" (8). Well, the "camera-man" is always imbedded in the picture itself, part of the picture, captured him- or her-self within the desire to take the picture in the first place: "The camera therefore is an eye/capable of looking forward and backward/at the same time./Forwards, it does in fact 'shoot a picture,'/backwards, it records a vague shadow,/sort of an x-ray of the photographer's mind,/by looking straight through his (or her) eye/to the bottom of his (or her) soul./Yes, forwards, a camera sees its subject,/backwards it sees the wish/to capture this particular subject in the first place,/thereby showing simultaneously THE THINGS/and THE DESIRE for them" (9).
My FACE/GESTURE/MOOD/SITUATION/ATTITUDE (9-10): willingness, curiosity, frankness, vulnerability. I am always open to the mirrors which reflect me, which capture a redoubled image; I am always open to my home--a home which feels not a home. An exile: but still nevertheless without some sense of home. Those guarded gates in my previous post: unheimlich/heimlich.
Willingness, curiosity, frankness: negotiation, between limits, anxious, mobile. Becoming-what-you-are recursively and endlessly so captured otherwise: the mirror you break for bad luck. Negotiation, between limits, anxious, mobile.
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